One of the things that our clients say at the end of a project is that they were surprised by how many decisions are required during a project.  Everything from what rooms to include, to the shape of the cabinet door.  Literally thousands of decisions are involved in the typical project.  One of the dangers of this flood of choices is the risk of forgetting what is really important.  Every “yes” also means a “no” to something else.  It is easy to be distracted or pulled of course by opinions from friends, or ideas from Houzz, or even mood changes from day to day.

One of the tricks we use to help prevent this from happening is an exercise we call “big rocks”. 

I can’t remember where I heard that phrase, but the idea is that if you need to get a lot of rocks in a bucket, you have to put the big ones in first or they will never fit.

When you are preparing for a project, try to write down the 3 or 4 “big rocks” that you have on that project.  What are the big rocks?  These are the most important elements to that project.  A good way to think about it is to imagine yourself two years from now.  You are past the pain and stress of the actual work being done.  Was the project worth doing?  What are the elements that would make you say yes or no?

Be careful, because it is tempting to think of what I call “features” or “floor plan” issues.  Those are the ones that come to mind first.  Things like, “I really need an island in the kitchen” or “I really want 5 bedrooms”.  Those could very well be the big rocks, but beware that they are frequently just clues to the true big rocks.

Here’s how to test your big rocks: use a technique called the “5 Whys”.  Ask yourself (or your partner if you are working together) what one of their big rocks are.  When they tell you the answer, ask “why”.  When they tell you why, ask “why” again.  The idea is that by asking 5 whys, you are starting to peel away the superficial reasons, and getting closer to the real Rock.

Here’s an example:

Asker“What is one of your big rocks?”

Answerer“I want fewer walls”

Asker“Why”

Answerer“Because I want the space to be open”

Asker“Why”

Answerer“Because everything is so claustrophobic in the kitchen when I’m cooking”

Asker“Why”

Answerer“Because I can’t keep an eye on the kids as they do their homework”

Asker“Why”

Answerer“Because I want to use that time to interact with them and not feel so distant”

Asker“Why”

Answerer“Because I feel like the time around dinner is an important time for our family to connect.”

I know it seems silly, and if you have young kids, be careful about using this many “why’s” you may set off PTSD in your partner.  But I can tell you by digging a little deeper into the big rocks, you will be surprised by what really important issues are drawn to the surface.

Now I want to hear from you.  If you have done a project, or are considering one, what are some of your “big rocks”?  Add a comment and let me know.